I feel like I have forgotten how to have fun. Like I suck the enjoyment out of everything. When I have conversations with people I apparently can only be serious and I respond to jokes or frivolity in such a way that it ruins the whole conversation for both of us. I don’t know when I became so boring or so bitter. I am trying to stop but I can’t stop. Here I am, knowing I am being awful but unable to change it. It isn’t like I’m enjoying it.

Soon nobody will ever want to talk to me again. 

If this is what I am going to be like forever what will I do? I am already sick of myself.